I want to take this moment to share an experience that has completely taken over my life and has transformed me into becoming who I am meant to be. It has been weighing heavily on my heart how much joy I find in well, believing in something. Someone, actually. It's a great feeling to know that you are loved completely, just as you are, broken and human. I've decided to walk you through in seven ways, a Sunday church service through my eyes. Hopefully it can give you something to believe in too! |
Consistency
You know that feeling when you work out a few days in a row, and you keep at it? How easy it becomes each time, and how much better you feel about yourself? That's how going to church is for me. I have always had a hard time getting people to be consistent enough to go with me. It was one of the biggest ways that Satan tried to keep me from knowing God. I would have a few people who would attend with me and last minute flake out. Just like planning to run, you just have to get there. With running, if you are wearing your workout clothes it makes such a big impact on actually going for that jog. Church is very much like this for me. If I actually show up, it isn't quite so bad to do by yourself. After awhile, you make friends, and the consistency of it all really makes going a part of your life.
Open doors
The first thing that happens to me when I walk into a worship center is an overwhelming sensation of peace. I instantly feel at home. I can try and explain how this feeling is for me, but quite honestly, there are no words to describe it. All I can say is I feel deep down in my gut that God is in me. He is in front of me, behind me, over me. It's almost as if he has wrapped me in his arms in a huge bear hug and is whispering to me "don't worry, you are home." This feeling I get, makes all of my problems from that week fade away. This feeling shows me why it is all worth it, why living is worth it. It's magical and powerful and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Worship
Nothing fills my heart with more happiness than listening and singing out His name along with talented musicians. Music is such a powerful thing. It can completely shape your life in ways that can be good or bad. The wonderful joy and raw emotions that get laid out on the table when a group of misfits and hurt people get together is powerful. It is so amazing to sing praise and be moved solely by sound alone.
Realization
About this time of the service, usually about two songs in or so, I get so overwhelmed with God's presence that I can't help but cry. I have literally cried at every service like this since I can remember. Year after year, week after week, and I still shed tears. They aren't tears of sadness. They aren't tears of joy. They are tears of relief. They're tears to show strength, not weakness. They prove that no matter how much I think I have my life together, I have no idea what Gods plans are. They are vulnerable and accepting.
Lifted hands
One of my favorite moments of service is when everyone has lifted hands and eyes closed. I always look around and smile. I smile because we are all the same, really. We are all people looking for something to believe in. We are all people believing in the truth, having faith in the one thing that makes it all better. And if we don't know God, we are willing to try and find out. We are all admitting we have flaws, coming together and being a family. This is why I smile. Because I truly feel at home and trusting of every single person that has walked into the room.
Message
There are usually three key points at this part of the service. They are usually related, and almost always told in a different way than the previous service. That's what is so great about it. I can also tell that God is taking the wheel here and feeding His word into each message, shaping it for the group in that particular service. I also love the passion that comes out of this. How the crowd gets into it, how the pastor gets into it, and how there is that moment of clarity. When I worked at Cross Timbers, I absolutely loved when Pastor Toby would cry during his message. Those were the moments that I knew God wanted me to hear what was being mentioned. He didn't just want me to hear it with my ears, but to see it with my eyes and to actually feel it. Even now at Hillsong, the passion is always shown during this time. The moments when they get heated and consistently stay "off script" are when I know that God is truly speaking through in this situation.
Purpose
I listen intently as we all say one last prayer together & Amen in unison. By the end of the service, I feel exhausted and energized at the same time. I feel like I just went on an incredible journey and want to change the world, write every thought I have down, read my bible, and take a nap all at once. The amount of ups and downs I have during that hour and a half really does take a lot out of me. I can't help but want to explore my faith even deeper. I remember why I'm here, what I truly want to do, my purpose for living.
You know that feeling when you work out a few days in a row, and you keep at it? How easy it becomes each time, and how much better you feel about yourself? That's how going to church is for me. I have always had a hard time getting people to be consistent enough to go with me. It was one of the biggest ways that Satan tried to keep me from knowing God. I would have a few people who would attend with me and last minute flake out. Just like planning to run, you just have to get there. With running, if you are wearing your workout clothes it makes such a big impact on actually going for that jog. Church is very much like this for me. If I actually show up, it isn't quite so bad to do by yourself. After awhile, you make friends, and the consistency of it all really makes going a part of your life.
Open doors
The first thing that happens to me when I walk into a worship center is an overwhelming sensation of peace. I instantly feel at home. I can try and explain how this feeling is for me, but quite honestly, there are no words to describe it. All I can say is I feel deep down in my gut that God is in me. He is in front of me, behind me, over me. It's almost as if he has wrapped me in his arms in a huge bear hug and is whispering to me "don't worry, you are home." This feeling I get, makes all of my problems from that week fade away. This feeling shows me why it is all worth it, why living is worth it. It's magical and powerful and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Worship
Nothing fills my heart with more happiness than listening and singing out His name along with talented musicians. Music is such a powerful thing. It can completely shape your life in ways that can be good or bad. The wonderful joy and raw emotions that get laid out on the table when a group of misfits and hurt people get together is powerful. It is so amazing to sing praise and be moved solely by sound alone.
Realization
About this time of the service, usually about two songs in or so, I get so overwhelmed with God's presence that I can't help but cry. I have literally cried at every service like this since I can remember. Year after year, week after week, and I still shed tears. They aren't tears of sadness. They aren't tears of joy. They are tears of relief. They're tears to show strength, not weakness. They prove that no matter how much I think I have my life together, I have no idea what Gods plans are. They are vulnerable and accepting.
Lifted hands
One of my favorite moments of service is when everyone has lifted hands and eyes closed. I always look around and smile. I smile because we are all the same, really. We are all people looking for something to believe in. We are all people believing in the truth, having faith in the one thing that makes it all better. And if we don't know God, we are willing to try and find out. We are all admitting we have flaws, coming together and being a family. This is why I smile. Because I truly feel at home and trusting of every single person that has walked into the room.
Message
There are usually three key points at this part of the service. They are usually related, and almost always told in a different way than the previous service. That's what is so great about it. I can also tell that God is taking the wheel here and feeding His word into each message, shaping it for the group in that particular service. I also love the passion that comes out of this. How the crowd gets into it, how the pastor gets into it, and how there is that moment of clarity. When I worked at Cross Timbers, I absolutely loved when Pastor Toby would cry during his message. Those were the moments that I knew God wanted me to hear what was being mentioned. He didn't just want me to hear it with my ears, but to see it with my eyes and to actually feel it. Even now at Hillsong, the passion is always shown during this time. The moments when they get heated and consistently stay "off script" are when I know that God is truly speaking through in this situation.
Purpose
I listen intently as we all say one last prayer together & Amen in unison. By the end of the service, I feel exhausted and energized at the same time. I feel like I just went on an incredible journey and want to change the world, write every thought I have down, read my bible, and take a nap all at once. The amount of ups and downs I have during that hour and a half really does take a lot out of me. I can't help but want to explore my faith even deeper. I remember why I'm here, what I truly want to do, my purpose for living.